Later 09'

Dear 2009,


you royally sucked. No not completely, but it wasn’t the easiest one that’s for sure. I learned what a panic attack is, had one too many meetings with the police, had the word guilt hanging over for me half the year, some other moments im choosing to stuff down memory lane and hope to never dig up, became too curious about devil candy, got kicked out of the local bar, got strapped to a hospital bed, and at some emotional low point, told my dad to fuck off. Wow! According to that list I shouldn’t even want to show my face. But on the positive side, I do because what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Besides one day I’ll look back and laugh...

On a much more positive or lighter things of 2009, I did start doing probably the best thing I’ve ever done to not feel so lost. To just do what I love to do and be around the people that make me happy. I didn’t do or feel like I had to do things that I didn’t want to do or be apart of. I did an internship for a smaller magazine company that puts on a lot of events. Definitely learned some lessons for my future career while scored some good words for my resume. Attended amazing music concerts such as; Coachella 09!! (no words), Coldplay, Ray Lamontagne, Benny Benassi, Fisherspooner (even though that was a horrible set), Modest Mouse, and Pinback. I realized that life is always up and down and that horrible moments will soon pass because life is always going through phases.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I’m not saying im complete dust in the wind, but all my actions have reactions. I have about a year left of school before I get my B.A. Am saying goodbye to the dental assisting job and hello again to Nordstrom…I’m gaining one more adult responsibility because I have to pay for my phone bill now :/. I’m doing the best thing that I can do right now which is loving like I won’t get hurt and being loved.

I'm stepping off this 2009 ride and getting on a new life decade ride. Wonder how it's gonna be!...Surprising, high, low, fast, slow?? Whatever, I'll try and enjoy the ride no matter what.
 

My Delirium

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone!!! I couldn't ask or be thankful for anything else. I got some cold hard cash to save up for my new Cannon. Running shoes so I can start running the streets again, some super cute brown boots that are much needed in my wardrobe, oh and finally a magic 8 ball since I'm such an indecisive person.

Being half mexican and half mormon I have a lot of family, I' Msquared...anyways that means a big family and I'm thankful I get to see most of them over the holidays. Mom's cooking in the kitchen while Corey, Kaela (with her new wedgie free underwear) and I are watching the classy Jingle All the Way. Merry Christmas, so thankful I'm not at work right now.

Sex is full of lies. The body tries to tell the truth. But, it’s usually too battered with rules to be heard, and bound with pretenses so it can hardly move. We cripple ourselves with lies. - Jim Morrison

1:43

And you would  leave a missed call at 1:43.

winter break

I'm as happy as that sheep for another semester of school to be over. I really enjoyed this semester (minus the homework of course). Winter break is here and I havn't even thought of a list of things to do yet....so here they are with minimal thinking.

1. Relax and enjoy no school

2. Read a book

3. Attend a couple shows/concerts

4. Get my holiday shopping done on time

5. Play in the snow

6. Ring in 2010 with little expectations

7. For something or someone to open my eyes to something new

8. Disneyland trip

9. Make some $ to pay off my shopping habits

10. Smile

Tumblr

If it's not one internet addiction its another. I've been over Facebook, and  lately mine is Tumblr. I just cant seem to get enough of it! When I first started exporing it, I thought it wasn't too creative and that everyone reblogged the same stuff, but I guess there's a whole lot out there if you really spend some time on it and sadly that'd be me. Last night a friend, who I havn't spoke to in months asked me, How do you have so much time to Blog? I guess I just make the time and hell, I'm single. My Tumblr name is the same as my blogspot name just to keep it simple.


I wonder what I would be doing if my internet was down for a month? My guess is excersizing more often :/

http://energeticpulse.tumblr.com/

Stop Motion video. cute

Her Morning Elegance
by rysakosa

Taste just like candy

trying

    With so many school projects, finals, working two jobs, an ex-lover coming back into my social circle, waking up to a phone call about a friend that died last night, just hearing that my brother totalled his car, and seeing a close friend slowly spiral down, I don't know what to say, feel or freaking do. So stressed about everything. I know once the semester is over and the holidays are over I'll have some breathing time, but I just feel like I have so much to say, but don't know if I should. It makes me unbelievably sad to hear when people die from ODing on drugs. I can't relate to addiction too much, but have seen it too much recently and see that it just destorys people. When I think of people I admire or find interesting, those people have passions in life, not addictions. As hippy as this sounds, but if people really tried a little harder, the world would be a much more beautiful place.
    I talked to this guy that moved here from Columbia to go to school and chase the American Dream. His family owns one of the biggest coffee companys. He wouldnt tell me which one because I think he thougth I was a gold digger, but anyways, I asked him his favorite thing about living here, He genuily thought about it and said, "I'm Safe." We may be politically incorrect, corrupted by the media, and in an economic crisis. But I think we can agree that safety is a priority. What that has to do with anything I said above I have no idea. Like I said I have a lot on my mind, and writing sometimes releases a paper weight off my shoulders. Off to work.

yes please

Sometimes from Miami Horror on Vimeo.

The grass is always greener

       The grass is always more green and looks better on the other side of the fence. It took me awhile to learn this, but I'm glad I have it down now. Other people's lives' sometimes seem so much appealing or easier than our own lives. Truth is, once you get to know that someone you were maybe jealous of just a little, you realize they're just as fucked up as you are if not more.

      I havn't had the easiest paths in life, in my young 22 years of living, and I'm quite thankful for that. I'm grateful that I have learned how to work towards things that I really want and that I've never really been "given" or handed things I dont deserve. Some people or a lot of people as it seems get things that they don't "deserve."

      Be thankful for for your past, because it's led to where you are today. Every little action we make has a profound impact and reaction to that simple action. The grass will always look more appealing on the other side. But at that root of the grass, there's just dirt.

    

light it up

I take no credit for any of the above photos

Honest

Does honesty get one far?
So far in my short lived life....I guess yeah.
Overwhelming thoughts right now.
Super anxious for the next 3 weeks.
Time will only tell.
Already know, but know it's not over.
It's an undescrible feeling that I don't want to accept.
How is love so evol and dark at once?...
Just gonna keep being around the people that make me happy.
And doing the things that make me happy.

Relaxing

        Pretty content right now if I must say. I'm also a giddy little kid in a candy store because tomorrow I know there's some good shopping to be done. Something about going to industry sells gets my blood flowing...The cheap prices, the fact I can afford it since I'm hustling my ass working two jobs, and of course the cute boys that work at the damn warehouses. Anyways looking forward to Vestal, Sabre, Rvca, and maybe paul frank sale to get some Christmas shopping done. I'm nice right now. Also stoked on my Radiohead current obsession and the fact that I'm cooking my favorite fettici alfredo right now. In the mood to interview people for no damn reason. babble babble babbling dont. Oh yes, I want to name my second daughter Stella.
         

Goodbye Disneyland

Goodbye Disneyland annual pass, mine expires today :( It seems like a short year, but the selected trips I did go on I completly enjoyed. Indiana Jones never got old, as well as people watching or taking pictures of the fireworks in the summer. Ironic that I'm going to school to finish my paper thats due on Walt Disney and my pass expires today. See you soon hopefully.

Lunch Break Tuesday

Everything is gonna be alright.

Minus the fact that I just saw Ed Hardy's Daughter has a line coming out. Do we need to maximize the douchebages for a girl line too? NO

Cave

    Dark places this week/weekend. A lot of bad this weekend. Usually I can see the light in a situation, but these one's in my life are just plain dark. Havn't felt passionate about anything lately. Havn't had too much feeling about anything. Just feel numb and dumb and like listening to depressing music. wah wah wah.

Thanksgiving

 Happy Thanksgiving Blog world, friends, families, or to anyone who reads my crap. I actually slept through this thanksgiving while my family was nicely gathered around the dinner table, only because I've been sick.  Didn't stuff my face at all, and I'm not too dissapointed since I do that enough during the week.
    Hard to believe how fast freaking time goes. Last Thanksgiving seems not that far away. We're blessed to have such amazing weather, 85 degrees today! Let the Holiday music begin....

90% Boots

    Wasn't sure what to wear to Ray Lamontagne since I didn't know what to expect the venue to look like. I figured can't go wrong with dark blue jeans, top, high heels, and a leather jacket since it's freezing at night now. That'ts pretty standard and I figured it's in LA and people dress like kooks sometimes....Walked right in straight for the ladies restrom and to the bar, probably only 10% of women were wearing high heels. I guess it didnt matter, but it was just weird that I had to notice that right away. Even Kristen Cavallari had boots on? She did have shiny disco pants, but she still had flat boots. Shortly got over the boot thought and enjoyed my Stella Beers and good conversation with my friend who brought me. I appretiate and enjoy when someone opens my eyes to someone or something new. Never really listened to Lamontagne until now. He's a funny, shy, dry, nervous guy that has an amazing voice thats for sure. The love lyrics made my heart bleed a little and my brain go into overload. Not a bad thing, but I couldn't turn it off and enjoy the music as much as if I wasn't in over analyzing mode. We sat 6th row in a beautiful 1920ish theatre. Glad I put a different spice in my weekend

 

              

Moments

My icey cold veins must be melting to a light pink shade because for the first time this weekend, as lame as it sounds, I actually felt my heart feel alive. I know life isn't supposed to be one big high, but I miss that feeling of pure bliss. The feeling where you know it's only a temporary feeling because of all the other noises in life. Where there's nothing else to be concerend about except that exact moment and time frame where you appretiate that moment. A time where you can remember every detail  so perfectly but thinking back on it there was silence in the air and my emotions over powering. Whether it is good or bad, it was just a powerful moment where the whole world stops for just a second. I can think of a handful of those times, and someone is always based in those moments and that's what scares me.

Margie Of California

     If I was born male, I would be down and stoked to be wearing the up and coming Margie of California clothing...I heard these boys have worked hard, and it shows. A lot of drive and determination goes a long way. Can't wait for MOC girl line...
     Margie of California is sold at American Rag Fashion Island and LA, coming to Thalia Surfshop in Laguna Beach, as well as Shelter located in Long Beach.

http://margieofcalifornia.wordpress.com/

Root Canal Pervert

        Being a dental assistant is probably one of the least sexiest jobs in America. I wear unsexy scrubs, a mask, goggles, and suck people's drool for a living. Kinda gross if you think of it that way. If I'm constantly in the scrum of the scummiest mouths or the pretty pearly whites for all that matters, why does doing a root canals give me such sexual thoughts?
          Everytime I help the Dr. out with a root canal, I stand there next to the patient with my white tip suction waiting for the Dr. to file away and use the bleach so I can suction up the bleach. It's a longer process and during that time my mind goes towards perverted things all the time.
          I just don't understand how I can have such racey sexual thoughts performing a root canal on a complete stranger while my Mormon Dr. does the root canal. I even go through the same thought process of telling myself to stop with the nasty thoughts, but I can't?
       What gives! I've tried starring at the fish, I've tried starring at the cars outside, I've tried everything to think of anything but sex while doing a root canal. Anyways, hopefully your not getting a root canal from me because you know whats going through my mind. AND if you are getting a root canal or visiting the dentist anytime soon, people please!!!!....We can see and do stare at every pore on your face. Trim your nose and ear hair, and women with mustaches, please do something about that. Lauren Conrad's mustache is enough for my eyes, I especially don't want to stare at yours up close while I'm having sexual thoughts.

Late night Booty calls, shiny disco Balls.

DLZ

"Eternalised. Objectified.

You set your sights so high.

But this is beginning to feel like

the bolt busted loose from the lever"

TV on the Radio-DLZ

Excited

to work at the casa del camino event coming up for my intern Riviear Magazine! It looks gorgeous already

Casa Surf Project. from Hart Concrete on Vimeo.

Halloween minus the ween

Peter Pan and Kitty Cat

Houses: Omg your such a cute Butterfly!

Kaela: Im just a fly....

Mutt's Lunches where the festivities began

So sore the next day

Broken Facebook, found a new love

         What would the world be like without facebook again???? I'm experiencing it as we speak and I feel as though I'm being punished. I did come to the school library to do homework, but its a habitual form to check my facebook before I get started...
        And now that it's not letting me sign on, it's just making me cranky. So I resorted to old fashioned Myspace to search for new music that I never get around to listening to. Found LLCD soundsystem and am currently obsessed. So that may be +1 to this facebook tragedy.

Hair

    

This girls face is somewhat MJ creepy, but her hair is to dieee for. I'm making an appoinment to chop off or do something drastic to my hair. I'ts not likely of me and I may chicken out, but I'm ready for an appearance change.

The Shys

Tomorrow night The Shys are playing @ the HOB in Anahiem and I would just love love love to go. Too bad I probably will not because nobody else really listens to them or everyone's suffering from the economy to afford a cheap concert. Anyways, I woke up this morning and the air in my nostirls was finally crisp and cold instead of dry. YESSS, bring on the cool weather

"wait, were friends"

    The past month I feel as though I have given guys bluntly the "were only friends" line one too many times. I guess maybe I should put into consideration of their feelings, but honestly I just can't lead on someone I'm just not romantically interested in. Is it better to not say "were just friends" to someone you consider as just a friend and let them pursue you and get absolutely nowhere? I think thats just mean.
    I know that I hate being pursued for some reason, but as I was explaining to one of my guy friends...girls don't want the guy that's always available. It's sadly always a game with the opposite sex and always will be a game. I don't understand why I can't fall for a good guy verses the fucked up guy that has too many issues or doesn't have a job. One dayyyy I'll learn hopefully. Guess I just need to fully let go of my past to move on :/ But on the other hand, im keeping my lips sealed for using the "were just friends" line.

Golden Ticket

Talk about a fun party I would want to go to! Willa Wonka themed birthday party for Katy Perry with paint fights, candy flowing everywhere, and oompa loompas. More pictures here. http://thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos.html