I can't stop thinking and I am so sick of the thoughts going through my head. Debating going out tonight with friends since it's Memorial day tomorrow, and also debating chugging some NyQuil to turn off the thoughts and not be hung over tomorrow morning.
I feel like I need to do something in my life, something new. Change is hard whether we want the change or not, it's just a hell of a lot easier to not change. I don't know why I think that one day I'm going to figure out my dream job with out making steps toward that goal. I don't know why I continue to stay in my on again-off again relationship, well I do know why, but still nothing is changing and I feel like a hamster in a running wheel.
That bottle of NyQuil just screamed my name from the bathroom. I know that life's not perfect and always supposed to feel like Disneyland rides and perfect plump strawberries, but what the hell. Totally lost my train of hardly thoughts or rambles. My girlfriend came over and borrowed some boots when I came face to face with my beloved nasty tasting NyQuil. Things are gonna get weird in about 15 minutes...
Speaking of weird, last night I went to my cousin's graduation party with my dad and he asked if I wanted to go to another party with him. It was for his girlfriends younger sister, who graduated from CSUF and its a few years older than myself. I figured, sure...why not, I had been day drinking all day and had no prior plans for the Saturday evening? He said, "You'll probably know people there." I thought okay ya right Dad, I'm not going to know anyone..anyways! Let's just say it's always a small world....Saw some pretty familiar faces and it just made me start thinking about what my Mom has always taught me growing up.
"Candace, be nice to everyone because you never know when you'll run into them later in life." I used to think okay, ya whatever Mom. She was definitely right about that. I'm not even half here mentally writing this. Goodnight. Looking forward to getting some Sun and working out in the morning...
